Understanding Mentalising

A plain-language guide to what mentalising means and why it matters.

Mentalizing is the ability to understand behaviour in terms of underlying thoughts, feelings, and intentions.

What is mentalizing?

Every behaviour has something behind it — thoughts, feelings, wishes, fears. When we mentalize, we try to understand what's going on beneath the surface.

Signs of non-mentalizing

Black-and-white thinking
Certainty about others' motives
Acting on feelings without pausing
Intense emotional reactions

Practising mentalizing

Pause before reacting
Be curious about others
Hold interpretations lightly
Check assumptions